A couple of days ago, I went to a Hot Yoga class in Loveland, Ohio at a studio called “Simply Power Yoga”. There were 22 of us sweating profusely in the over 100 degree heat for an hour and fifteen minutes. At the beginning of class, the teacher read the following to the class.
Letter from a Mother to her Daughter:
“My dear girl, the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through.
If when we talk, I repeat the same thing a thousand times, don’t interrupt to say: “You said the same thing a minute ago”… Just listen, please. Try to remember the times when you were little and I would read the same story night after night until you would fall asleep.
When I don’t want to take a bath, don’t be mad and don’t embarrass me. Remember when I had to run after you making excuses and trying to get you to take a shower when you were just a girl?
When you see how ignorant I am when it comes to new technology, give me the time to learn and don’t look at me that way… remember, honey, I patiently taught you how to do many things like eating appropriately, getting dressed, combing your hair and dealing with life’s issues every day… the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through.
If I occasionally lose track of what we’re talking about, give me the time to remember, and if I can’t, don’t be nervous, impatient or arrogant. Just know in your heart that the most important thing for me is to be with you.
And when my old, tired legs don’t let me move as quickly as before, give me your hand the same way that I offered mine to you when you first walked.
When those days come, don’t feel sad… just be with me, and understand me while I get to the end of my life with love.
I’ll cherish and thank you for the gift of time and joy we shared. With a big smile and the huge love I’ve always had for you, I just want to say, I love you… my darling daughter.”
Here is a photo of my mother and I on a cruise back in 2004. She passed away in June of 2011.
As the teacher read this…I found myself welling up with tears, trying to wipe them away without anyone noticing, and remembering back to all the times I wasn’t patient with my mother. When she was finished reading…she made eye contact with me and knew I was touched. Then yesterday on Facebook I saw the same letter posted on an acquaintance’s page.
I also remember all of the times I was patient and sweet to her. Calling her almost daily. Buying her diamond rings and hiding them in her glass of champagne or wrapping them in multiple boxes. Flying her to see me in Germany when I was in the military. Quitting my job to take care of her when she was in a nursing home and finally, again, the week before she passed.
I realized that we are too hard on ourselves. We beat ourselves up. I learned the lesson of forgiving myself and realizing I’m not perfect!